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Sunday, April 02, 2006

9:43 PM
Not exactly the Sunday i thot it to be.. but one tht i'd say would change me.

ppl who'd often see me arnd would.. i guess.. see less of me. why? cos i'm dealing with some personal issues right now and these people.. when i encounter ineraction with, would cause me to put up a false front and not be able stress to you what i feel.. so sooner or later(esp. when together) the problem will surface again.. so instead, i decided tht i would make it my problem and deal with it myself. if u don't hav the slightest clue and are completely oblivious to it here's a little hint (and you can choose not to read on anyway).. i don't know but you think its funny, your mockings and sacarsms abt me.. IN FRONT of me.. yea i find it funny too.. but when its repeated over and over agn AND to different ppl. it becomes more than just a joke and yes it hurts behind that smile.. but it is my duty to watch myself and make sure i don't give tht type of impression any more but with u (guys) digging up the past and continually "adding to the fire" its hard to correct tht image and to a point its just so easy to give up.. its been almost a year of forcing out giggles and maintaining friendly smiles.. sure a year or two ago i wouldn't really mind or care if such things were said abt me but not too long ago i started to get terribly SICK of it, sick of ur false assumptions and sick of ur endless mockings.. its so sad tht these were the ppl i regarded as one of the closest ppl in my life. but no worries.. this is now MY problem and i'll deal with it on my own. nothing much i guess you can do any more, its not as if i didn't try to tell you these things

thing is: i really really hate tht acid tongue of urs, it stops becoming funny, i mean.. yea, it makes u hilarious and all but wat if i were to throw you onto the recieving end? its not tht i'm ultra-sensitive, xiao qi or anything, its just tht i'm REALLY SICK of it.



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